Hello weight losing fans...
Today I stepped up onto the Magical-Mystical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 182.6-pounds. That's better than yesterday. I wrote that I was retaining fluids.
Well the Fourth Of July Weekend is past, and we're half way through the summer. Honestly, it hasn't felt like summer. The temperatures around here in Illinois are unseasonably low. Gee, it's that darned "Global Warming." NOT...
Here's my commentary on that: If all you fat people would just eat normally we could save the planet 100 trillion tons of carbon dioxide (CO2) a year. Aren't you preponderants the least bit concerned about saving the environment and keeping that CO2 from rising into the air? And you are a moron if you believe that. And, you are a sucker for the con-artists like Al Gore, and even our president George Bush.
Nut bags...and scientific Charlatans is what I think.
Did you enjoy the Fourth Of July? Did you go out there to a picnic and eat like there is no more tomorrow? Good, I am glad that you did. Now, it's back to the grind. I told you celebrate.
Did you compliment the chef who dutifully stood over the grill cooking for you? Did you say thank you God for giving me this incredible food? Seriously don't you think he deserves the credit?
Thank you God for this giant hamburger. Thank you God for the wife or husband that prepared it. Thank you God for this big ear of corn. Thank you God for all that I do have.
I said thank you. I even said thank you for the time I could spend with some of my family up in a cabin in Savanna, Illinois. And, of course, as is usual, someone decided he was going to unload on me his frustration at my behavior over the weekend.
Did you know that I am a Narcissist? Yes, I am completely unaware of what people think about me, and how they view me (Whoopee). I don't smile enough. I don't interact enough. I am not socially acceptable. And, my God, I have this overwhelming smelly attitude? Did you know that?
OK... Well, now that we've established that, what's the answer to my so called problem? Did you know that I never was offered a solution. I was threatened with a physical beating though. Yeah, that would fix everything wouldn't it?
I did make it clear that if anything got physical, I would promptly retaliate with unquenchable physical beatings of my own. I made sure this bully knew that he would get his in return if the attempt was made. Of course he did change course, and denied he made any threats at all. And his family backed him up. (All this from close family members.)
How many of us have family like this? I do. And it makes me wonder, how many of us go through life like this? It makes me dread being around certain people. Even though I may have a strong sense of love for certain people, I still dread being around them.
And, don't think this doesn't have an effect on our mental well being. It does. We've become conditioned to crazy behavior and think we are normal.
My family member declared himself very normal, and socially acceptable. Mean while, every turn-of-the-hour he was consuming more and more food, laden with sugar, and carbohydrates. He's a type-two diabetic. He's on medication. They've had to increase his medication. He's rapidly gaining weight. But, I am the one who's a narcissist, and completely self indulgent. Yes, that's so I guess.
Did you want the truth? I am self consumed in a way. You bet I am paying attention to myself. You bet, I am seeking my own satisfaction. I am seeking to lose weight. I am seeking to feel better. I do make an effort to withdraw from certain people even though I may be in the room with them. I do mentally disengage.
Yet, I am paying attention. I am watching, yet not responding. If you had someone probing you all the time with the most obvious questions. If you had someone around you that behaved like a four year old constantly asking personal questions that are no one's business, you would withdraw too. That is if you are healthy.
I have a book titled, "Who's pulling your strings?" In the book the author says that many times the people who declare themselves the healthiest and most normal are indeed the un-healthiest and abnormal people. There are people out there bent on pulling your strings, when they have no business doing so. This is because they seek personal gratification by upsetting other people. Or, they are ultimately control freaks. I have family like this.
My strings are hard to grab onto. That is for my family they are hard to grab. Although, If I am physically threatened I respond pretty quickly. This is because I have every belief when an unwarranted threat is presented, it may not be long before the action follows. That's a long story in itself.
Well, what's my point? I know that my paragraphs written here are perhaps vague. But, I am getting around to something here. We all live in environments and with people who may not be the most satisfying, and healthy. This effects our minds, and our personalities.
Many people give up and go along with what is going on around them. Many times we have family members who have terrible habits. It could be over eating, over smoking, self loathing behavior that is destructive. When one of us preponderant-ones tries to break away from the crowd, we become the objects of unnecessary criticism. I am that object of criticism for some of my family.
I try not to intrude on other peoples space. I make an effort to avoid squabbling. I make an effort to avoid complaining, even though I feel inconvenienced. I make an effort to avoid depression. I make an effort to control my eating habits. This makes certain family members very uncomfortable.
I am a witness to careful eating, and constructive food consumption, and it pricks people's consciences. I am not perfect, and I don't put on airs that I am. But, I draw fire from the one's who think things ought to be different.
What If You Were Like Me?
Hypothetically: Let's just say you were like me. You were overweight. I don't mean by a few pounds, I mean grossly over weight. I mean you were obese. Now, imagine most everyone in your family has the same problem.
Also, let's throw in some mental disorders, like struggling with depression, and rejection. Let's toss this into the mix a list of bad behaviors, and just poor nonconstructive thinking. Now, let's put a spin on top of these characteristics, "You think you are OK, normal, and you fit just fine into the rest of the world." Let's also put in there that you aren't self critical, nothing has to change, it's everyone around that has the problems.
This was me. And, that's the environment that I was dealing with inside my family with some members.
Suddenly something happens and you begin to awaken. You start moving towards behaviors that are better. You begin to work on your depression. You begin to work on some of your bad habits. You decide to lose weight. Meanwhile the rest of the crowd that you hang out with is stuck in the old way of being.
What do you suppose will happen to you, if suddenly you awaken and make a sincere effort to lose weight? I mean you aren't wishing you can eat better, and you aren't thinking you'll eat better. I mean you are eating better, and the results show dramatically.
Let's just say you are making an effort to shift your thinking. You are dog tired of having a dark cloud hanging over you. So you decide to eliminate thoughts that bring the dark clouds of depression. Let's say you aren't perfect at it, but you are working on eliminating them.
What do you suppose is going to happen? Well, if you are like me, you'll be like an enemy ship that's lost it's way inside enemy territory. Every enemy battle ship, cruiser, and destroyer will open fire on you. Even though you mean no harm. You will get fired upon.
It will come from the people closest to you. They will see the changes, and you'll be pricking their consciences. They won't like it, and they'll fire up on you. You'll be accused of being selfish, and abnormal. You'll be accused of everything that you can be accused of. I kid you not, it will come.
You may only have shifted a little bit away from your old pattern of being. Only, like crabs in a bucket, you're family and friends will reach out to pull you down. Then they'll have the unmitigated gall to say they are normal.
Be warned fatso, when you try to fix this problem called being fat, and out of control, you'll meet stubborn resistance. But we love you just the way you are... they will say.
This has been my experience. I wish I could say that I respond perfectly. But, to my own shame, I don't. I have a lot of growing up to do myself.
Take heart though. You can change for the better. I spend a great deal of time praying about it. Yes, I admit to my Father in heaven that I am just one wigged out, wacky, neurotic, sinful creature. I am a snot for sure.
My family member was very close to the truth. I am self seeking. Only, the benefits of this weight loss effort will make it better for anyone else around me. Mostly because I will be healthier. My minding my own business, and making an effort not to stir the pot full of ........, will make life better eventually for everyone.
You can hang with the crowd. Don't do anything about your weight. Let's see what it ultimately does for you in the future. It won't be good. Hey, but you can sit around and pontificate about how normal you are. Yeah, that will be so good for the rest of the crowd, or your family.
Number counter when I posted: 3842
Bye for now...
And that's the way it is...I'm David Dane
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