Hello weight losing fans...
Today I stepped up onto the Magical-Mystical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 179-pounds. That's down from yesterday. And I've slipped below 180-pounds again.
All I can say is, "It's about time." Phew...
When I went to worship services this morning I ran into two people who knew me back when I was much heavier, and had a larger girth around my mid-section. The one guy was commenting about how much skinnier I am. Then the other man commented; I look good where I am now. He said; he doesn't think that I should lose more weight.
Neither of these guys knew me back when I served in the U.S. Army, and the Reserves. They never saw me when I was around 160-pounds, and I was a lean-fighting-machine.
If they had then their comments might be different. They might say things like, "You aren't like you were." And, I'm not. My waist today is around 39-40 inches. My waist back when I was 160-pounds was a 32 inch waist-line. My waist-line when I was at 240-pounds-plus, was 48 inches. Yes, I have lost over eight inches on my waist.
Their perception of me is what I was when I was obese. People who knew me before, to include my family, saw me when I was lean.
No one knows for sure what or where I should be at concerning my weight. Only I know. I am the one who has looked at the charts. I am the one who keeps the records. They don't. Most people see me in little pictures for a snap shot of the day. I am the one who wakes up in the morning and stares into the mirror at my nude body. I am the one who steps onto the weight scale. I am the one who has to put on his clothes.
All the people's comments are subjective. Mine are objective. I am the one who is in the know about me.
Since I am the one who is in the know about me, I am the one who makes the decisions about the kind of food I am going to eat, and how much I am going to eat. Since I am the one who is in the know, I am the one who writes down the food that I eat, and my drinks.
Since I am the one in the know, then I am the one that faces the scale in the morning when I step onto it.
The scale doesn't lie. Oh, I can fudge the numbers on my food log. I can skip putting something down. I can tell you that I am eating like and angel, when I may be eating like a pig. But, when the numbers tick over on my digital scale, there it is, the truth.
Yep, the truth is the truth. No one can be around me for 24 hours in a day. No one can be there to be my conscience when it comes to my food consumption. No one can be your conscience when it comes to your food consumption.
Your scale won't lie to you like everyone else will. Your weight scale is an instrument, a tool, for you and I to gage our progress.
I love my scale, and I hate my scale all at the same time. Yes, when I am getting the results that I want, I love my scale. When I get the results that I don't want, there might be a flicker of disappointment there, and a curse word for this little short machine that's just doing it's job.
Here is what my scale may be thinking, "Hey, it's nothing personal. I'm just doing my job. It is what it is. Deal with it."
Back to my friends from church. They only see me on a Sunday most of the time. My one friend sees me more than that. Sometimes I go with him to exercise, or on an errand. But, even he only sees me once in a while.
They have no way of knowing what it is that I eat. Why then should I even consider their comments to me as something that will completely effect my performance with my weight?
I shouldn't, and I don't.
I look at the weight scale. It ticks out the numbers, and it's comments are completely objective.
It can't lie to me. Unless of course it's damaged, then I might get an erroneous reading.
I look at the charts. I've looked at many charts. The charts are the charts. They are based on the averages of hundreds, if not thousands of people. The charts are the charts. And, do I fit the charts? When I step onto the scale, do the numbers on the scale match the charts?
Today I weighed in at 179-pounds. That's what my scale read. The charts say that for my build, and my height, I should be at 145-160-pounds. That's what the charts say. I am off by almost 20-pounds.
I can see the bulge of fat around my mid-section. It's there even though I practice sucking it in. It's 20-pounds of fat that should go.
My objective is to get rid of that 20-pounds. My objective is to step on the scale and read 160-pounds. That's what will be normal for someone of my stature.
I have to consume the amounts of food that I need to sustain my life. I have to eat just the right amount of food to just burn enough calories a day to lose weight. It's a balancing act of calories.
This morning I woke up at 3 AM. I couldn't sleep. My stomach was killing me with incredible hunger pains. I was tempted to get out of bed and eat something, anything so I could kill that hunger. I felt like someone was pushing a dull knife into my side. My stomach was groaning.
I rode out the pain and finally fell back to sleep.
I had to keep thinking to myself that I ate yesterday. I had to keep thinking that I had enough food to live yesterday. I had to keep thinking that I am not going to die from this. I had to keep thinking about my objective. My directive, was to break through the 179-pounds by Monday, like I had predicted.
I am determined to bust 178 by next week. I am determined to stay below 180-pounds. That's the last I want to see of the 180-pounds on my scale.
OH, and it sucks. What? You read it right. It sucks. I want to eat jelly donuts. I want to eat that Cream-De-Mint. I want to eat that chocolate ice cream. I want to eat that cheese cake. I want those large helpings of French Fries. I want that 12 inch long sub sandwich.
I feel like a little child sometimes. I want it too. Why can't I have it? Why can't I put heaps of sugar in my coffee like so many people? Why can't I have that big beef sandwich?
Why do I have to eat these little slabs of meat? Why do I have to avoid all of the snacks? Why, do I have to give up all the food? Why....?????
Why do I have to write every blinking thing I drink or eat down? Why can't I eat with absolute abandon? Why can't I eat intuitively like some people? Why...?
Why did I get fat? Why...????
It sucks. Well, David just grow up.
Yeah, from the looks of it many people have grown up, and out. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...
Yeah, look at all the round bellies on the men. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...
Yeah, look at all the pear shaped woman with their big thighs... Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha....
Yeah, David just grow up and deal with it. OK...
Let's see you deal with gnawing hunger. Let's see you give up that big hamburger. Let's just see you lose 60-pounds. Hey, let's see you even lose 20-pounds.
Oh, you're some hot shot executive with money ha? You can afford a gym. Well, I can't. I am just some ordinary Joe.
Yeah, let's see if you can even lose 10-pounds...
By the looks of things, many people are like me. They love to eat. They love to keep eating until they are full. It doesn't work that way. We can't eat until we're full. We can't eat until we're satisfied. By that time, it's too late. We will have over eaten.
This is my curse. Or, it's my blessing. I must eat "Less Food." I must eat much less food than I think I can. You will find out, that if you are going to lose weight; "You must eat less food."
I hate it...
Number counter when I made this post: 3996
Bye for now...
And that's the way it is...I'm David Dane
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