Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Being Able To Say No Thank You And Mean It

Hello weight losing fans...

Today I stepped up onto the Magical-Mystical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 183-pounds.
Yep I am just hanging around here over that 180 target weight.

No, I Don't Want It
Yesterday I was at a home in Glenview having lunch with a bunch of Senior Citizens from the Danish Home. Along with them came their baker. He was a young man from Denmark.

This young man has diabetes that is the kind someone is born with (Type-1). His body can't develop enough insulin to process glucose in his blood. As a result he has to take regular injections of insulin.

Along with the injections, he has to make sure he eats the right food. If he doesn't, he could suffer some terrible consequences that could prove fatal very quickly.

One of the foods that he has to be very weary of is desserts made with sugar. He also has to limit his intake of sweet liquids. In his case a potently sweet wine that he was given a shot glass full of.

We were eating dessert, and the husband of the hostess saw that most of the dessert had not been eaten. He got incensed and asked why the people weren't eating more dessert. Of course, I was happy to oblige the guy. It didn't bother me to have a little more. (I will explain why.)

He went around the table insisting the woman have more dessert. Then he looked at the baker and told him, "What you don't like my wife's baking?" "Eat more dessert," he insisted.

The same thing happened at the first house that we visited with the luncheon.

This poor kid. He knew he shouldn't eat anymore food. It could kill him right there, or make him very sick. He tried to say, "No, I can't." The old man kept insisting. The kid gave in.

If it had been me, I would have pulled out my injector and said, "Here, when I pass out, you make sure I get this because I am a diabetic." I would have shown him what for. But that's me.

The wife came along after that and was upset when he wouldn't finish off the wine. He told her it was too sweet. She took the glass indignantly.

He didn't have the courage to tell them that he is a diabetic and that he shouldn't, and really can't eat the food.

It had nothing to do with the taste of the food. It had nothing to do with the hospitality. It was that his life depended on abstaining from the food. It was life or death for him.

I am convinced that if he had spoken up and said, "I am a diabetic, I have to watch my food," they would have backed off.

I don't like pushy people. I especially don't like people who push their so called "hospitality" on me. It's no longer hospitality to me, it becomes an issue of control in my mind.

And, it's about that time my mind starts stirring up some incredibly wicked things that I want to say. However, I have to bare in my mind, "consider the source of the frustration." Then I make a concerted effort to curb my tongue. But, oh if they could get into my head, they wouldn't like what's up there for them.

Do We Know When To Say No, And Mean It?
One of the things that I am trying to get across in my posts on this blog is that we have an obligation to ourselves. We have an obligation to take care of ourselves, as long as we still have our wits about us. And, I am not writing it's easy. I have a long way to go in some areas.

This is why I have been writing, "I'm not losing weight for anyone else but me." I don't care if it seems like I am self consumed. I am no good to anyone if I can't live my life to the best I can.
And being over my weight limits was not living my life to the best.

My self indulgent thought is actually a blessing to those around me. Which is a paradox...

Now, when my head is tilted to the side, and and foam is dribbling out of my mouth, and I can't tell who's coming and going, and I am no longer there in my entirety , I will be someone elses responsibility. (God forbid...)

Back to my point. It's our self centered thinking that actually gets us into trouble. We eat because we are trying to fill something. It could be our stomachs, or it could be empty feelings.
So, I have been told. Me, I just get real hungry.

That food we love to consume can be our friend, or it can become the enemy. It's a blessing and it can be a curse.

I am not writing that finding the proper medium to live by is easy. Oh, goodness no. I am not climbing up onto a mighty horse here and looking down with my quill in hand ready to smite the feeble weaklings. In this case my keyboard at my finger tips is my weapon.

What I am writing is that we have to get to the point where we have the courage to stand by what we know we should do. In my case it was learning to EAT LESS FOOD.

What happens to many of us is we don't see that long term future waiting for us. We don't say well what if? What if I keep eating two loaves of bread a day? What if I keep eating a two liter of soda a day? What if I keep giving in to these impulses?

What will be my outcome?

In the situation I mentioned up on top there was an obligation on the part of the baker to put his foot down and say, "NO, I am a diabetic."

If the people didn't back off, then that would prove beyond a doubt they were truly officious people. Their hospitality would have become an offense, and not a blessing.

How about you, and me, are we trying to lose weight? Do we have any idea how much food we can consume to lose weight and still live a healthy existence?

Some people really don't know what they are doing. However if they do, then do they care enough to take action?

We the preponderant ones will run into more people like those I encountered yesterday. They will insist that we break our diets so they can satisfy their foolish yearnings to look hospitable.
They are officious, and they don't even know it.

Do you have the courage to say "NO" to more food? Do you know your limits and have you set them? You ought too.

Ours isn't an instant death from over eating. Ours will be a slow death. It will be lost friends who make foolish assumptions. It will be lost opportunity from our daily life. Our death will come slowly as we creep along in our extra wide wheel chairs.

I strained to make it up the stairs last year. I was in pain. The difference between me and many people, is I really don't complain about it. Not like I could have.

How about you? Can you say "NO" to you?

When I had that extra dessert yesterday I knew how many calories I had consumed already. I knew that with every bite that I took my evening dinner began to become a NO GO. I had to decide dessert, or dinner. Which will it be?

I gave up my evening meal to have my dessert. It was yummy. I had to wait until the morning came.

I woke up at 1:00 AM hungry. I couldn't go back to sleep. I got up, boiled some water, and made tea with some honey in it. Then I managed to fall back to sleep.

Bye for now...

And that's the way it is...I'm David Dane

1 comment:

Jake Silver said...

oh the many many times I have turned down people's food or desserts. Most of my friends and family are used to it, and they know it means more to me for them to make me something healthy than anything.

 Hello Weight Losing Fans,  Today I stepped up onto the Digital Scale weighing in at 208.2-Pounds. My heart is very heavy with pain since my...