Adults Can't Handle The Truth

Hello Weight Losing Fans...

Today I stepped up onto the Magical-Mystical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 187.2-pounds. That's down from yesterday's weight, but still I am up four pounds over my record for this weight loss season.

Patty Cake
Patty Cake
Bakers Man
Bake me a cake as BIG as you can

Oh, come on, say Mommy
Come on that's a good little baby...

Blaa, Bloo, Bloo
Goo, Goo, Goo

How many times have we seen woman with their babies talking baby talk to them and saying the most ridiculous things to them? We have all seen it many times, on TV, and in public.

Moms do it because babies are babies, and their little delicate minds can't handle the adult world. So, their moms wisely and by instinct change the pitch of their voice higher, and start talking gibberish to their babies. And, of course, most babies love it.

Oh, it's cute, and fun to watch at times.

Unfortunately I am beginning to think that many adults can't handle the adult talk either. I keep running into people who don't want to hear the truth about how much weight I lost, and what I did to do it.

Here is why I am saying what I am saying. Just today I was talking to my niece who is thirteen years old. Now, in the school system they want to teach her how to put on a condemn, and how to have sex, but they will not tell her they know what happened on 911. They hide the truth, and they spread perversion.

Well, I got incensed and told her that it was Muslims who flew the planes into the Twin Towers, and that's because they want us dead. My brother got angry that I would dare tell her that. He told me that she is only thirteen years old, and I have to handle things delicately with her.

Now, in our politically correct world we our raising children, and they are growing up to be adults who don't know the truth, and when they are told the truth they can't handle it. And, of course, they would rather be lied to than face the truth; well because it's just too hard to handle.

How does all this relate to losing weight? I have a method in my madness here. Just hang with me.

More and more I am finding on the different web pages that I read differing ideas about how to lose weight. Some people have different versions of foods that we should eat. There is the Blood Type Diet. Doctor Atkins has the Atkin's diet. Another doctor has the Fat Flush Diet. Still another doctor has capitalized on our vanity, and plagiarised the Doctor Atkin's Diet and called it the South Beach Diet . Another Doctor has the Southwest Florida Diet.

Still other doctors are recommending more drastic and outrageous weigh loss solutions such as cutting someone open and rerouting the stomach and colon tubes.

Gee, God Was So Stupid When He Designed Our Bodies
Didn't he know that these blood thirsty doctors have a better idea about how the body should work? Hey, when someone can get $30,000 for a two hour operation that is now routine, I guess there is a lot of incentive to be malicious, but oh so caring.

Let the "Ugly Fat Man" have his guts cut open and rerouted his life is in danger. Oh... my...

Why can't they do the same thing to the sexual parts of the sex offenders? Gee isn't someone else's life in danger?

But, I have digressed from my point. (And I am oh so politically incorrect.)

I am seeing more and more adults who are just a little bit overweight. Well, maybe they are more than just a little bit over weight; they are pleasingly plump. Well, maybe they are just a little more than pleasingly plump. They are well, let's just say full figured. (That's what the women use in their on-line dating adds; "I am full figured."

No, let's just say the truth: You're Fat... That's that. How many pounds are you over your normal body weight anyway? Huh?

But, I don't dare tell this to anyone's face. It's because most people can't handle the truth. They would rather have words with sugar coating on top. People don't want to be told that they are eating themselves into their early graves.

People don't want to hear that to lose weight you have to learn to sacrifice and give up the eating lifestyle that got them fat in the first place. People don't want to hear they have to put up with hunger.

No, they would rather have some sweet soft talking doctor come along and tell them, "Your life is in danger, we can do this surgery here, and that will make it easy for you."

So, let me talk baby talk to you
Um, hello. How are you today? Did you want to have a Donut? You do? OK here. Oh, you want coffee too? Oh, you want two teaspoons of sugar? OK, here. What else do you want to eat? You want a pop tart too? OK, here.

There are you satisfied? Um, I lost weight, did you notice? Oh, I look good? Thanks...

How did I do it? Well, I am like most people. I tried all kinds of diets. Yes, diets don't work; I know. So, I went to the doctor. Yes, he tried diet pills, but they didn't work.

So, I asked him if I could have a four inch cut put in my stomach. Then I said pull my guts out. Then I said cut those guts up into pieces. Then I said try to sew them back up to the top of my stomach. Then I said tie off the rest of my stomach until it dries up and becomes a shriveled mass inside of me.

That' what I did to lose weight. How do you like it? Oh, pass me that last half of the donut please. Oh, and put only a little bit of coffee in my cup. No, not too much. Otherwise I'll vomit on you.

It's so pleasant losing weight. It's just a wonderful experience that I am having. Let's go walk around the block...

Goo Goo, Gaa, Gaa, Bloo, Bloo...

Gee, why don't I have a delicious food recipe to share too? Golly...

Bye for now...