Tuesday, April 10, 2007


April 10, 2007

Losing Weight is a long distance run. There is no sprint to the finish line. It’s an up hill and down hill run. This is going to be like no marathon you have ever run. You will pass the lines of people who will cheer you on. You will pass the lines of people who will jeer and boo. You have to keep on running until the very last, until you finish. And then you’ll have to get ready for the next run. You’ll be running for the rest of your entire life. You will want to quit the run. Weight lose is a never-ending race. So get ready. It will never end.

Well, It’s Tuesday. It’s two days past Easter. I wrote yesterday briefly about how much I ate on Sunday. I am going to tell you what the results were. On Monday I weighed in at 213.2 pounds. This morning I weighed in at 212.8 pounds. This is three pounds more than where I was.

Did I actually gain weight? I don’t know. I ate a lot of food on Sunday. I consumed more calories than what is in my daily plan. I don’t think my body has passed out all of the waste yet. Oh gross. Maybe I added a pound of body fat. Who knows? I wrote this before. This is a marathon. It’s a LIFE LONG endeavor.

Let’s just say that I manage to reach my goals and get down to the weight that I am hoping to reach, I can’t stop monitoring my weight. I will have to watch my weight for the rest of my life. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, then you too are going to have to monitor your weight for the rest of your life. That’s the truth.

I can never let my guard down on this matter. If you are serious you can’t let your guard down either. I hate it. You will too.

Look around and see all the preponderant people. These are people who don’t know what they are doing. I don’t know if they even care. Let’s just say you are reading this blog. It’s long and monotonous reading. The information isn’t compact and concise like reading a diet book.

This blog isn’t a diet book. This blog is my thoughts about what I am dealing with losing weight. I have been working at this since December of 2006. I actually started years before when I was at 260 pounds. Then I lost 60 pounds. Then I regained 40 pounds.

Here is where I tripped up. I didn’t record what I was doing. I didn’t weigh myself everyday. I gave up. When I gave up, I lost the war.

It’s hard to lose weight. It’s hard to keep the records. It’s hard to keep going when everyone else is out there doing his or her thing. It’s damned inconvenient. I’m not doing this for them. I’m doing this for me.

When I go to a restaurant to eat I have to make choices about what it is I am going to eat. I have to decide how much I am going to eat. I have to decide if I am going to eat desert. Most of the time I pass up desert. It’s because many deserts have very little nutritional value. Oh, they are delicious, but I don’t have to have dessert to live. Am I eating to live, or living to eat?

On Sunday I went to a buffet. I was writing on a napkin what was on my plate. An older member of my family was sitting to my right and he was laughing. He asked if I am going to write everything down. He asked if I know all the calories. I told him no I don’t know. I am writing it down to know what it was that I ate.

This family member thought I was foolish. (Well perhaps he did.) So what? I don’t care. You shouldn't care either. When I get older he’ll be gone. I have to face the day, and the years. I don’t like straining to get into my clothes. I don’t like straining up the stairs. I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror. It’s for me.

You know what? Many people don’t like to be around people who are overweight. People make judgements about overweight people. They assume the worst about people who are overweight. I know. I do it too.

Ok, here is what I ate at the buffet on Sunday (Easter) I had two plates of food. On the first plate I had bourbon chicken, meat loaf, a slice of corn bread, rice, and green beans. I could have stopped there. On the second plate I had a large white dinner roll, a large turkey breast, a large 6-ounce steak, and onion rings. Next to that I had a half-cup of clam chowder soup. I could have stopped there. I did go for dessert. I had a large bowl of ice cream with a small fudge brownie dropped in the middle. I went for another bowl of ice cream and a slice of red velvet cake. Man, that cake was so good.

I consumed all of this food after having already eaten food that counted out at 600 calories earlier in the day. I know I went well above my daily goal of 1,500 calories.

RRRRRRR, we are the fat police come with us. Drop that chocolate cream puff and put your hands up in the air. Mr. Dane you have exceeded your daily calorie intake and you continue to exceed your Body Fat Index. You will be jailed in a cell and fed cardboard until you reach a point where we consider you are at your appropriate Body Fat Index. After that we fine you $10,000 for breaking the law of Body Fat Index. We are the skinny people. We are the reasonable ones. We know best.

Can you imagine this taking place in the future? Well, the fat police are all around us. These are people who discriminate and don’t tell us.

I don’t need them. I know when I am huffing and puffing that I am out of shape. When I have to go to the doctor and he tells me that I have to go on cholesterol medicine I know something’s wrong.

I can’t tell you how many male family members who are close to me are now type two diabetics. I don’t doubt that I was getting close to that point. Well, I don’t want to be taking diabetic pills for the rest of my life. I will modify my diet thank you.

Did I tell you what to eat? NO. Did I say I wouldn’t overindulge sometimes? NO. I wrote what I am eating and what I am going through. You figure it out for yourself. I can’t be your conscience. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be anyone’s conscience. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself.

If you can stomach reading this dribble, perhaps you will find the motivation to change yourself. Maybe you won’t. But, I suffer daily for my goal. Sometimes I dive in and enjoy myself. I know what I did. I think I know what I will do in the future. If I live long enough.

I just finished off a two liter of diet Coke. I also just ate a TV dinner. The calorie count was 430 calories.

Yesterday my calorie count came in at 2,212 calories. I went to a wake and I was hungry while I was there. I did eat more than I had planned. I also had some Italian cake cookies. Each of these little cookies comes in at 70 calories.

Am I worried? Nope. I know what I ate. I wrote it down. I can adjust from there.

If I don’t write it down then the little tiny accountants inside my body will write it down for me. Then they’ll store the access where the whole world can see it.

Remember I started out at around 240 pounds back in December. I am now at 213 pounds. That is a difference of 27 pounds. I think I am progressing slowly but surely toward the weight I want to be at. I am not counting on anyone to help me get there. You can’t count on anyone either.

You can read this blog and perhaps it will give you some idea what to do.

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