Hello weight losing fans...
Today I stepped up onto the Mystical-Magical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 188.8-pounds. Could this be real? Yep, it's real, I have gained 4.2-pounds above my posted record.
Now, here is the fun part, after I had posted on September 1, 2007, I stepped up onto my scale weighing in at 183.8-pounds. So in the last three days I have gained five pounds.
Well, how can this be David? You are shattering our thoughts about your great weight losing skills. Am I really?
First of all I am not losing this weight for anyone else but me. I am really just writing about it. If, by chance, anyone should gain any insight from it and encouragement great.
However I am well aware of the fact that my writing is at this time less than politically correct. I would love to be able to put a blue berry muffin recipe on my blog and say, "Here eat this delicious weight losing muffin for great flavor and good nutrition."
I would love to smother this weight losing thing with positive, up lifting messages that leave one feeling all tingly and fuzzy. I would love to.
It's just for me losing weight has been a challenge. It's not the only challenge that I face, but it's a challenge.
And, I like many people fall off the wagon. For instance on Sunday morning I consumed six large pancakes and syrup. That was a hefty chunk of calories there. I also had cheese cake, and a muffin. In one morning of eating breakfast I had consumed a full days worth of calories.
Need you wonder if I ate anything later in the day? Well, of course I did.
Now, this campaign of eating certainly had an effect on me. I have no doubt that in such a short period of time I actually gained weight.
So, what do I do? Well, here is where I quit. Yep, there is no use going on. I am licked. I am beat. Losing weight isn't for me. I will go eat, eat, and then eat some more.
Tell me why I should keep going? I am a total failure when it comes to losing weight. So what if I lost 55-pounds? So what? I'll only gain it all back again.
I think I'll go join weight watchers. I talked to a woman who uses weight watchers and she said, "She never feels hungry following their plan." That's amazing, so how did she get so fat in the first place?
So there it is, I have been wrong all along. I guess it's just because I don't avoid the list of foods that weight watchers tells people to avoid. I am all washed up with losing weight.
This is my last post. I am quitting my blog. Oh, I can't write about it anymore. I have gained way too much weight. I have lost my credibility. I am a weight loss wash out.
I am going to the store and buying a bag of potato chips and dipping cream. I am going to eat myself into an oblivion. That's it. Say goodbye to me.
All you positive weight losers have seen that I have been whipped. I was full of it. I am done for now. Go read someone else's blog. I'm no good now.
I guess I will just have to get fat again. I can't do it anymore. Give me my sponsor who I can call up at 2:00 AM and beg for assistance with fighting those food cravings.
Maybe I could just use points. Then I'll really know what I am doing then. Yeah, why count calories, just count points. That's my problem I didn't listen to the Weight Watchers. If I had I would be slim and trim with no frets or worries. Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, I am gonna quit trying anymore because there ain't no use in trying. I am done. Ka Put... Finished.
Bye for now...
3 comments:
It's obvious you aren't serious but this was pretty funny. But it does make me wonder... okay say you are somebody who normally weighs 200 pounds. At what point do you say "enough is enough"? Ya know? Is it 210? 250? 300? I wondered this while watching The Biggest Loser. At what point do you change?
Jake, I can not answer that question. Everyone has a time when they get sick and tired of being sick and tired. There is a man I know at work who is 400 plus pounds. His knees are torn up from his weight. He can climb the stairs. He eats, eats, and then eats some more. Some times it takes tremendous emotional trama to get someone motivated to change. I don't know for anyone else but for me I was just sick and tired of being fat.
I was writing about the 400 pound man. I should have wrote he can't climb the stairs. That was a typo error.
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