Monday, October 22, 2007

Honestly Even The Fitness Guru's Get It Wrong

Hello weight losing fans...

Today I stepped up onto the Magical-Mystical-Digital-Scale weighing in at 183-pounds.
That's down from yesterday's weight, and just up over my posted record by about 1/2 of a pound.

OK, I can handle this... I do wish that I were down at 180-pounds like I said I wanted to be two weeks ago. But, it's just a slow grind here getting off those pounds.

Hey I Am Not The Only One Who Gets Hungry
About three days ago I posted a commentary about how incredibly hungry I have been getting since I have been pushing for the 180-pound target. (At this rate I should get there sometime next year...)

Well, I found someone who has been complaining about hunger; it's our friend Lizzy who we had not heard from in many months.

Here is what she wrote:
"I really hate being hungry at night. I eat three meals and one snack a day, but those last four hours before sleep I get soooooo hungry! I cave sometimes, but usually I just sit there and try to distract myself. I know I can probably grab a fruit or something, but then when I do eat something a long those lines I still feel so hungry. I've heard that at night it strikes back if you don't eat enough during the day. I wonder if I'm not eating enough? I dont really know.

All I know is that night time is mean and cruel. lol."
Thanks Lizzy for your thoughts.

Now those are her written words. She wrestles with the Hunger Monster just like anyone will when making an attempt to lose weight.

This is why, we have become accustomed to eating more that we need to survive.

Our Food Choices Are Getting Abundant, And Temptation Is Going Up
There are so many food choices out there. The stores shelves are full of snacks, sodas, teas, milks, creams, candies, meats, and other varieties of foods. Don't get me wrong, I love it.
But, it does make it a challenge when it comes down to avoiding temptation.

And that temptation to eat gets all the more stronger when at every corner we go to there is food instantaneously available to eat. All we have to do is purchase a little cellophane bag, tear it open and eat it.

There is no cooking it, and smelling the aroma of the food as it rises into the room. There is no thinking about anything related to preparing the food. All anyone of us has to do is buy it, tear it open, and then eat it. It's instantaneous self gratification.

The food manufacturers know this. There is a science in getting people to eat. The more food that we eat, the richer the food makers become. I don't begrudge it to them.

It's just hard as all get out to avoid falling into the binges when it's so easy to get to.

Denise Austin (That Hottie Fitness Lady) Has All The Answers To Beat Those Munchies: Just Do What She Says
I have these little E-mails that I get from the Denise Austin web site. She is trying to get people to subscribe to her online weight loss center, so she sends out little E-mail ticklers like this below.

In one of her most recent E-mails she offered some thoughts as to how to avoid binging. I could not believe what I read.
  • After dinner, clean up the kitchen and shut off the light. You'll be less tempted to graze after you "close up shop."
  • Brush your teeth right after dinner. Don't ruin that minty fresh feeling with a snack!
  • Avoid eating in front of the television. Studies show you'll eat more while watching the tube and not even realize it!
  • If you must have a late-night snack, choose wisely! Have a cup of yogurt and fruit, a salad, a broth-based soup, or some steamed veggies.
(The above mentioned was pasted from the Denise Austin web page.)

One of the suggestions was clean the kitchen, and then turn out the light and declare the kitchen closed. I laughed when I read that.

Here is what I thought, "OK the kitchen is closed. Now, I can faithfully walk away looking over my shoulder at the darkened room knowing that I can't go back in there until then next day. Yes, the kitchen is closed. Stay out of there now, the lights off, and the kitchen is closed. Yes, that's right, stay out of the kitchen. Don't turn on that light. Walk away, I said, the kitchen is closed. Denise Austin said this would work. She knows what she's talking about. Denise is the authority. Stay out of the kitchen; walk away."

"Oh, what's this dish of chocolates doing here on the coffee table? Hmm... I can't go back into the kitchen, but I can eat this chocolate that I set out for guests. Hmm... no guests, maybe It will turn bad. I can't let that happen... Oh, oh, OK I will eat only one. Just one piece of chocolate, that's all. Chomp...Oh, oh, OK, just one more piece of chocolate. Just, one more, I can eat just one more."

"Hmm... I wonder what I forgot to put away in the kitchen? Nope, I can't go in there it's a closed shop; and I just brushed my teeth. After all I don't want my teeth to decay after eating this dish of chocolate. Sorry guests, you didn't show up soon enough. So there, I am done. That's that."

"Huh... did I forget to empty the trash in the kitchen? I think that I smell something. Nope, it's a closed shop. There's no more going back into that kitchen, I turned the light out, and I brushed my teeth. Nope, Denise said this will fix my munchies habit. She's right after all."

"Hey, where did the bag of potato chips come from here on the TV stand? Huh, the potato chip fairies dropped it by accident. Chomp, drat, they are stale... Oh, they aren't so stale. Chomp, chomp, chomp, crunch. Hmm... I am still hungry... Did I cover up that chicken dinner? I better check. Nope, it's a closed shop; I can't go back into the kitchen. I guess I better brush my teeth again here. Phew, I am hungry. Maybe I am not hungry, maybe I am just compulsive.

"Huh, why can't I go into the kitchen again? Oh, yeah, it's a closed shop. Yep, I am going to beat these munchies today; I've closed the kitchen, and brushed my teeth one more time.
Oh, they feel so clean."

"Growl, Gurr, Growl, how come I feel like eating?
I can't go back into the kitchen, nope I can't go back in there. It's dark in there. I am avoiding those munchies by staying out of there."

"Click, buzz, "Hello, Pizza Hut, can you send over a large sausage cheese pizza?" "Yeah, could you put extra cheese on it for me?" Yeah, I like cheese."
Yep, the kitchen is closed, and I can't go back in there. Oh, I'll brush my teeth before I go to bed."

HONESTLY DENISE, what were you thinking when you sent that E-mail? This chick hasn't got a clue what we suffer with.

I like that hot mama, but, hey this suggestion makes me wonder what's up inside that pretty brain of hers. Hey, it's all about marketing.

We preponderant one's suffer with food addictions, and the smart people are capitalizing on it. She's no different.

Bye for now...

1 comment:

Jake Silver said...

That is hilarious. Dude, you are without a doubt the most realistic funniest "weight-loss" blogger I've ever read.

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