Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Don't Believe The Snake Oil Ads to Lose Weight

I’m Excited

Good Morning! And what a wonderful morning it is. Yesterday I blogged and wrote that today I would probably weigh 203 pounds. I was close. I came in at 203.2 pounds. EEH HA! Hot Darn!


This is the weight that I was back on Sunday August 3, 2003. How do I know? I found the yellow legal pad page that I wrote that information on. I had just purchased my own scale and was starting to keep records of my weight. I eventually quit. But, I know something about where I was in 2003.

I Used To Try Anything to Lose Weight
Back in the year 2000 I met this pretty girl from Columbia. She became my girlfriend. We were supposed to get married but that’s a story for another day. (She lost though. She married a preponderant man. He’s still FAT. Ha!) Anyway, I remember so well my weight at that time. (She was a benchmark in history. This is why I mentioned her.) I was up in the 250-pound range. I eventually hit 260 pounds. Ugh.

I was driving a truck for a living. I used to listen in the truck to talk radio. There was one station on that had these infomercials for a liquid with Ephedra in it. I remember paying $23.00 a bottle for this snake oil. Yes it was snake oil. The lady on the infomercial (Heather) would sell the product like this. “I am now a size four (4). I used to be a size twelve (12).” She had pictures in her diet center where she was wearing these oversized pants pulled out away from her waist. It could be seen clearly two more of her could slide inside those pants with her. She would go on with the story that she had a back injury and couldn’t exercise. Because of the back injury she had to find a new way to lose weight. She discovered this weight loss formula. “Look at me now,” she would say She was very charismatic and charming.

I started using the product. I was desperate to try something to get this weight off. I was trying to loose weight to impress my new slim pretty girl friend. I remembered how years before I was in the 170 pound range and I wanted to be back there so bad.

Heather used to say, “Don’t weigh yourself. Measure yourself in inches.” And when you purchase her inch reduction kit you would get a measuring tape and an instruction booklet. And of course there were all these pictures of Heather and what she looked like. Now I wonder if her name was really Heather. I got flimflammed.

I must have spent over 100 dollars a month on that product. I know I probably spent well over eight hundred on it. I wanted to lose weight.

Here is what I got instead. The product was supposed to suppress the appetite. It didn’t. The product was supposed to reduce your inches. The reasoning was this, “If you are losing inches, then you are losing fat.” I didn’t lose the inches around my waist.

I remember calling the 800 line and talking to the representative on the telephone. He would ask me what it was I was doing. Hey, it wasn’t rocket science. He would insist that I increase the dosage. I increased the dosage to the maximum.

Nothing would happen.

There were awful side effects. Heather would say that you would get increased energy. I sure did; I had the terrible jitters. My hands would shake like crazy. I kept waking up at night.

My heart rate jumped up to a constant 120 beats per minute. I remember my girlfriend would hold my pulse and was shocked at how fast my heart was beating.

I remember when I was in the best shape of my life while in the army my heart lugged along at 58 beats per minute. When I used to exercise and run it never went over 100 beats per minute.

Since I have lost 36 pounds my heart rate has fallen. My heart seven months ago was beating between 90 and 110 beats per minutes. I used to sit on the blood pressure monitor machines at the store and measure my blood pressure and heart rate. I still do.

My resting heart rate is now 70 beats per minute. Am I dying? I don’t think so.

Anyway, I would call the weight loss specialist. And he would tell me I must have been doing something wrong. He then made a fatal mistake for their company. He told me to eat fewer carbohydrates and more proteins. Ah ha, an illusion to the Doctor Atkin’s diet program.

I was on to something with that telephone call. I took a look at what I was eating throughout the day. I concluded I was taking in way, way, way too much sugar. Each day I was stopping at the gas station and buying a 44-ounce Coca-Cola (600 calories of sugar).

I wrote all that to get this to get to my story about the Doctor Atkin’s diet. I will continue that story on another day.

Eventually the Communist Government of Illinois outlawed the use of Ephedra as a diet supplement. Heather was forced to close all of her stores that she used as distribution centers.

I Ate That Fudge Brownie
I ate that little fudge brownie this morning. I weighed it. It wasn’t even an ounce. It was .8 ounces. It was packed with calories. The fudge brownie was 90 calories. It may have been a little more calories because there was some frosting on it. This morning I also ate a Banquet Turkey Pot Pie (380 calories). My total today so far is 470 calories.

I calculated how many of those fudge brownies I would need to eat to get to my 1,500-calorie limit. It would only take 16.5 brownies.

How many times do we go to a party and just stuff ourselves with these little treats; not knowing that they are a contributor to our impending doom?

Did I write don’t eat a brownie? No, I wrote record the brownie and add it to your total calorie intake for the day. That’s all.

Go ahead eat that sweet roll with the vanilla frosting on it. Then add it to your total calorie intake for the day. That better be all you eat in one sitting meal. That’s because it’s probably around 600 calories that you consumed. It may be more than that.

I am not saying don’t eat a tasty treat. I am saying count-the-calories in that treat and record them.

We in America have all of these computers and all the paper that we could ever write on. We keep records of everything else in the world, but we can’t keep a diary of our weight and food intake.

It’s no wonder we are all getting so preponderant. I am as guilty and careless as anyone else is. I am reforming slowly.

Do you like being FAT? Oh, it’s the dirty F.. word again. How dare I use it? I mean it. What are you doing to yourself?

If you have half of a mind, then surely you know that your health will suffer if you don’t do something about it.

I already told you that my resting heart rate has dropped. This is without a strenuous exercise program; that’s an incredible benefit. I feel so, so much better. I am so excited about this. I can’t help but write about it.

I want you to get off the excessive pounds. I am telling you how I am doing it. Will you follow my advice? I am not charging you for it. I am just writing to let people know that it’s possible to get off the poundage. It really is. Do it for you.

Go ahead start reading the nutritional panels on the food that you are eating. Figure out those calories. Write them down.
Bye for now...

Before I go: This morning I went with a friend to the movies. I had half of a bag of popcorn with butter on top. Then we went to Dairy Queen. I had a banana split blizzard (580 calories). I haven't figure out yet what the calorie count for the popcorn was. It was at least 400 calories. I think I am pretty much done for the day with my food consumption.

Well, I figured out my calorie count for the popcorn (580 calories).

I am done eating for the day. I have had more calories than 1,500. My total for today was 1,630 calories. I am over 130 calories. I am not going to cry about it.

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