Oh My Aching Heart-A Cold Dose Of Reality

We are the Preponderant ones.
We are the ones who struggle with our weight.
We are the ones who over eat.
We are the ones who have let ourselves go.
We walk the earth and consume all that we see.
We are the Preponderant ones.

This morning I stepped onto my scale weighing in at 194.8-pounds.
I am not panicing here. I know that my weight will go up and down. I haven't been eating so far over my total 1,500 calorie target.

Two nights ago I was looking for some different blue jeans that I could wear that were smaller than what I am now wearing. The pants that I am using now are slipping off of me. Yeah!

I have a collection of pants that range from size 34 in the waist up to 44 in the waist. I even have some size 46 dress pants. Yes, I was that large.

Out of the pile of blue jeans fell a pair of size 36 waist blue jean shorts. I used to wear these many years ago.

I tried on the shorts and was surprised to find that the legs still don't slip up onto my legs comfortatbly. The legs are tight on the tops of my thighs. (And I though my legs were getting so skinny.)

I tried to button up the shorts. I couldn't button them, even when I blew out all of the air in my lungs and sucked in my tummy. Then it really hit me. I am still so large. And I shutter to think how large I was.
I have lost over six inches on my waist.

My heart began to sink. I really got a good hard cold dose of reality with that. I wondered how, how did this happen to me? How did I get so far off of my weight from years ago? I have gotten so large. I can't button my old shorts. I can't even put them on.

My heart ached for a moment there.

I put the shorts back up onto the shelve and made a new resolve in my mind. I will put those shorts on again some day. I will put my military uniform coat on again someday. I will.

Here is the thing I must write. I am not going to damage myself to do it. I am not going to ruin my body by fasting away like some people do. I will do it sensibly. But I will get back down to where I was. If I live that long, and with God's help.

Bye for now....